The cards that will milk your giggle glands with a cast iron grip. Buckle up bitchlings, your pelvic floor is about to get a workout.

  • A white rectangular card with a cute hand illustrated emu and the dicks she's spotted today with funny text saying "emu chewed her pencil and crossed off another from her dick spotters catalogue. She had passed one hairy-arsed plonker, four great bollock wafters, two kerbside smeg lords and six common bearded wazzocks. all she needed was a feral tit tyrant and she'd have a full house."

    Catalogue

    Catalogue

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute hand illustrated watercolour style cat and funny text saying "I said fuck a lot of times today but then I said sorry for saying fuck so much so I think overall I'm a good work colleague"

    Work Colleague

    Work Colleague

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a comical hand illustrated ginger cat and funny text saying "'zey keeps calling me Tibbles but I don’t know the fack why becoz my name iz Emperor Lionballs Stripy McStripeface Feeling Fine Feline Lord of all Fences He who cannot be tamed Subordinate to none! (Swishy to me mates) "

    Swishy

    Swishy

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute dog sniffing a sunflower and funny text saying "'Prairie dog preferred flowers to people, because flowers rarely behaved like massive fucksicles"

    Prairie Dog

    Prairie Dog

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute hand illustrated dung beetle and ball of poo, singing a slightly altered version of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'

    Dung Beetle

    Dung Beetle

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with funny black text saying: "I want to enter the room with the energy of a cat. " Is there anything I can fuck up or eat in here? Nah? Well anyway, you're lucky to have me."

    Cat Energy

    Cat Energy

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: " 13 year old me: Don't tell me what to do. Me now: Could someone tell me precisely when and in great detail, exactly what I have to do."

    Exactly

    Exactly

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: " 'Your password is too weak.' So is my upper body… just let me live my life. "

    Password

    Password

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "My brain still thinks I'm 23. My body thinks my brain is a fucking idiot"

    My Brain

    My Brain

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "The first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest"

    First 40

    First 40

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • Messy handwritten style card with illustration of a "fountain of youth" and a funny sign saying "Out of order"

    Fountain of Youth

    Fountain of Youth

    Good Things
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A square card featuring a humourous black and white image of a little girl in a party dress faceplanting a cake.

    Cake face

    Cake face

    Ustudio
    £3.50 GBP
    £3.50 GBP £3.50 GBP