Birthday Cards

Happy or crappy, if you don’t send a card are you even shitshow besties?

Presenting the humble yet hilarious birthday card - cheaper than a present and without the wrapping headache, our cards might not say "Happy Birthday" but they will definitely make one. (Because, not to labour the point, some of them are really very funny cards, and the others are just spanking lovely).

  • A white rectangular card with an emu in a tiger print jacket and funny text saying "The forecast said 'cloudy with a chance of dickheads' so emu put on her dickproof jacket, kept calm & carried on."

    Dickproof

    Dickproof

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute hand illustrated sloth with funny text saying "last name Legend, first name Absolute"

    Legend

    Legend

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem."

    Inner peace

    Inner peace

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "It's weird being the same age as old people."

    Old People

    Old People

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cat in an ugly wool jacket and funny text saying "cat wanted to go out and play with his gang-mate, but he ahd been put in some sort of hectic wool jacket, which was fucking with his street cred. soon, thought cat, i shall piss in it. "

    Piss Cat

    Piss Cat

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Someone asked how much I usually spend on a bottle of wine. I don't know… half an hour?"

    Bottle of Wine

    Bottle of Wine

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • Bright red rectangular card with gold foiled text saying: " I see people my age climbing everest. I'm just happy to get my leg through my underwear without losing my balance."

    Everest

    Everest

    Cloud Nine
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • Pastel pink square card with handwritten style text saying: "If you were a potato, you would be a roast potato because they are the best."

    Roast Potato

    Roast Potato

    G Mosley
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • Turquoise rectangular card with fuschia foiled text saying: " My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80'sfar exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen." , with white envelope in the background.

    Song Lyrics

    Song Lyrics

    Cloud Nine
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • Bright pink rectangular card with gold foiled text saying: "Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I'm talking on it."

    Amaze

    Amaze

    Cloud Nine
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute dog and funny text saying "'Hey dog! Get in the house!' The person said. Or something like that. Anyway, dog did not give a fuck. For he did not speak person. Plus, he had lalalalalalalas to do."

    Lala Dog

    Lala Dog

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute hand illustrated watercolour style badger and funny text saying "badger fucked around and found out and it was brilliant"

    Brilliant Badger

    Brilliant Badger

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
               
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