Birthday Cards

Happy or crappy, if you don’t send a card are you even shitshow besties?

Presenting the humble yet hilarious birthday card - cheaper than a present and without the wrapping headache, our cards might not say "Happy Birthday" but they will definitely make one. (Because, not to labour the point, some of them are really very funny cards, and the others are just spanking lovely).

  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Midlife crisis incoming. Happy 40th!"

    Midlife 40

    Midlife 40

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: " 13 year old me: Don't tell me what to do. Me now: Could someone tell me precisely when and in great detail, exactly what I have to do."

    Exactly

    Exactly

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Midlife crisis incoming. Happy 30th!"

    Midlife 30

    Midlife 30

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "You'd be so fucked without me."

    You'd Be

    You'd Be

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Forget dick pics. Show me your toolbox, because I have a lot of shit that needs fixing"

    Toolbox

    Toolbox

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with funny black text saying: "When I was young I wanted to be married by 22. Let's all laugh together."

    Married

    Married

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Midlife crisis incoming. Happy 50th!"

    Midlife 50

    Midlife 50

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with an emu and funny text saying "'For fucksake' whispered emu to herself after ducking to avoid yet another low flying dickhead"

    Emu

    Emu

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a tiger drinking a bottle of wine and funny text saying "There's a tiger in my kitchen, and it finished all the wine! It's a greedy little fucker and it does it all the time"

    Kitchen Tiger

    Kitchen Tiger

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a group of cats having a funny conversation about what a french cat would say

    French Cat

    French Cat

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with a cute dog and funny text saying "'Hey dog! Get in the house!' The person said. Or something like that. Anyway, dog did not give a fuck. For he did not speak person. Plus, he had lalalalalalalas to do."

    Lala Dog

    Lala Dog

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • A white rectangular card with an emu in a tiger print jacket and funny text saying "The forecast said 'cloudy with a chance of dickheads' so emu put on her dickproof jacket, kept calm & carried on."

    Dickproof

    Dickproof

    Zeppelinmoon
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP