Birthday Cards

Happy or crappy, if you don’t send a card are you even shitshow besties?

Presenting the humble yet hilarious birthday card - cheaper than a present and without the wrapping headache, our cards might not say "Happy Birthday" but they will definitely make one. (Because, not to labour the point, some of them are really very funny cards, and the others are just spanking lovely).

  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "You are pretty fucking awesome. Keep that shit up."

    Awesome

    Awesome

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "I've decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard."

    Kids

    Kids

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: " Should we drink gin tonight? A) Yes, B) A, C) B."

    Gin Tonight

    Gin Tonight

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "There's no one I'd rather sit in silence & stare at my phone with."

    Silence

    Silence

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "When you're out shopping and your husband asks 'Do you really need that?' Do I really need you, Greg?"

    Shopping

    Shopping

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: " Should we drink wine tonight? A) Yes, B) A, C) B."

    Wine tonight

    Wine tonight

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest"

    First 30

    First 30

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "I am forever buying bloody birthday cards. Here's yours."

    Here's Yours

    Here's Yours

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Me: I'm the most easy-going person ever. Also me: What kind of clown loaded the dishwasher like this?!"

    Dishwasher

    Dishwasher

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "Every woman's dream is to find a man that will take her in his arms, throw her on the bed and clean the entire house while she sleeps."

    Woman's Dream

    Woman's Dream

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "A recent study found people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits. And people who order a quad shot, non fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims."

    Quad Shot

    Quad Shot

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP
  • White rectangular card with black text saying: "I hate it when people ask me what I did yesterday. I don't know, I breathed a lot. Probably got mad at something… sighed heavily. The list goes on."

    Sighed

    Sighed

    Holy Flaps
    £3.00 GBP
    £3.00 GBP £3.00 GBP